Funny Takes on the Hot Air Balloon Date

Of the few things you may know about hot air balloons, using them as the main component in a romantic date is probably one of them. They have been glorified as a breathtaking experience where two people can get to know one another better, but this isn’t accurate says comedian Ryan Hamilton. Convinced they are actually a terrible idea for a first date, he protests that the very elements that surround a balloon ride set your date up for failure. In his Netflix special ‘Happy Face’ Ryan tells us some hilarious truths about what a hot date in a hot balloon really feels like. His main points are not just funny but accurate, and well worth considering before you take the leap to the skies.

Too Early A Start

The 5AM start isn’t a great beginning to a romantic outing, especially if you aren’t a morning person. With dates more traditionally late at night for reasons such as more flattering lighting, better preparation time and of course the general convenience of not having to wake up before the sun itself, this is a radical change to the status quo. If you usually let sleep dictate when your date is over; get ready to experience a record-breakingly lengthy one.

Be Prepared If You Are Scared

Fear is not an attractive trait, which is why men with a fear of commitment are still single. If you are ready to fly “A wicker basket attached to a flamethrower” then go for it, otherwise if you have a fear of heights this may not be the first date for you. If you take medication to fly, like a pill that basically knocks you out this isn’t really the same situation, since you can’t fall out of a plane. You will be going high above the ground with little safety equipment so unless you found a dating profile that had a likes section that included ‘visual trembling and constant jokes about impending doom delivered through nervous laughter’, you may want to rethink.

Personal Space

In what Ryan describes as a basket only fit for “Bananas”, you will take to the sky with no exit option, with a stranger you may have just met. If you are cucumber cool in any situation this will be fine, if you can’t handle the awkward closeness this could be a 90 minute nightmare. Have your small talk topics ready to go if things get tired quick, at least you can always fall back on the classic “Great view huh?”

You Are Not Alone

If the other things haven’t got you sweating it may seem like the conditions for a perfect date. However up in the clouds you aren’t alone, there is always the watcher. This actually happens to be the person who operates the balloon who will always be with you, since the basket is far from spacious. If you’re intent on making some smooth moves or you are planning on getting some smooches before you return to earth expect an audience, of one, staring at you the entire time.